Defining INTEGRITY for the Next Generation of Multi-potentialites

I was told when I get older, all my fears would shrink, but now I'm insecure, and I care what people think...-Blurry Face, Stressed Out

Iyanla Vanzant defines INTEGRITY as: The willingness to be diligent in giving your best, first to yourself, then everyone else.  She also goes on to explain the relationship between "integrity" and "alignment" by stating in her "House of Healing," that integrity is best exhibited when what you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you are saying and what you are doing, are all in alignment.  This is what determines the trajectory of your life.  Integrity is the key ingredient in living a fulfilled life, where you are proud of your choices and circumstances. If I had this compass earlier on in life, I can think of several mistakes I would not have made personally, professionally and spiritually.  I began to walk in integrity thanks to the guidance of one of my mentors, around the age of 27.  One July afternoon, when I expressed to her how frustrated I was with the choices I was making with men, my career, and my spirituality, she cautioned me that what I "said" I wanted was not congruent with the choices I was making.  She challenged me to write lists of everything I wanted in a man, in a career, and in a spiritual life (i.e. place of worship, corporate worship experience, etc.)  As you can imagine, as a multi-potentialite, what I said I wanted out of a career and spirituality look a lot different today.  However, I still have the notebook page where I drafted every single quality and characteristic that I had to have in a man.  When I started dating my husband, a long-time friend of 9 years, prior to dating, he met all 25 qualities and characteristics on that sheet.  Finding authentic love in him, started me on a path of integrity in other areas of my life.

So this leads me to the thought: how do I raise a multi-potentialite (which I'm almost positive my daughter is), or any child, for that matter, to let integrity guide their life in keeping what they believe in alignment with their words and actions.  I believe there are 3 guiding principals that we can use to raise up a generation of multipods, who will live with integrity and stand for what is right.  They stem from the old teaching adage, "I do, WE do, YOU do!"  This is how I learn, this always worked for me in the classroom, and parenting is still new to me, so all I can do is learn, share and go with what I know in the process of parenting, intentionally.

MULTI-POTENTIALITE FEATURE OF THE MONTH

Clifton Harcum

From Baltimore, MD

Presently residing in Princess Anne, MD

Fight Songs are How I Got Over - The Roots; My Way - Frank Sinatra

Web/Social Media: 

chharcum@icloud.com, www.facebook.com/Mr.Ifucantbeatemjoinem

Clifton Harcum is a natural-born leader and a renowned author/public speaker who has dedicated his life to the achievement and advocacy of the downtrodden through coaching and community development.  He is determined to leave a legacy for his son and the next generation of men to follow.

STB: I'm really excited to feature you as the first male on my blog.  Let's begin where this journey all started for you.  What did you major in? 

CH: I received my BA in Sociology and my MSM in Nonprofit & Association Management. 

STB:  I majored in Sociology & Anthropology, as well.  It seems to be a common go-to for those of us interested in finding our place in the world, as young multi-potentialites.

STB: Are you currently working in that field? 

CH: Sort of. I lead and manage the Office of University Engagement and Lifelong Learning at University of Maryland Eastern Shore (UMES) which provides service and personal development opportunities for college students at the University. I collect and analyze data, write grants and I am currently conducting research in the areas of male college student retention and persistence strategies. I am not sure if I would call what I do as working in my field. I am a social scientist to a degree, but what I do is really self-propelled out of curiosity. I am curious about the impact of holistic development on individuals and how it affects their lives.

STB: Sounds to me like you are putting those stats courses to work...(smile).

Note: Since posting, Clifton Harcum has been appointed to the Princess Anne Planning & Zoning Commission!  Congratulations!

An Open Letter to my Brothers...

Dear (Good) Brothers,

It has been such an eventful time in American history that I have neglected to address you through this forum for a while.  I have used other forms of social media to document my distress with police brutality, shootings of police, abused and murdered sisters at the hands of black men, and good brothers who have the strength to stand up for what they believe, in the face of great ridicule and potential financial harm.  But I thought it was time to take a step back and correspond with my good brothers, for a moment.  My prayer is that these words do not fall on deaf ears, but rather they will inspire you to DO SOMETHING!

Malcolm X once stated in a Los Angeles Speech (1962):

The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.

As a black woman in America over half a century later, these words still resonate in my spirit, because not much has changed. One could argue, that while conditions have improved for blacks in America since the 60's, black women are still the most underrepresented group in business ownership and executive level positions, we still receive the lowest wages out of any other group, despite the fact that we have the highest percentage of graduate degrees out of any other cultural group.  Black women are still being debased and disrespected with NO backlash, through every form of media.  Black women are still being brutally and sexually assaulted without recourse, by our "brothers."  Black women are still giving birth to the next generation completely unsupported by some of our "brothers."  Black women are still changing everything natural about ourselves to fit into a standard of beauty embraced by our "brothers," in the pursuit of success.  Malcolm X goes on to ask:

How to Get Out of a Multipod Funk by Paul Strobl

The roller coaster of life’s successes and disappointments can have much higher peaks and deeper valleys for multipotentialites than for non-multipods.

When things are really firing, we’re on a high of creativity and productivity that lights us from within, helping us to push the boundaries of innovation. It’s an incredibly powerful feeling that we don’t want to end. On the other hand, when we’re down in a funk, it can feel as though we’re stuck in a never-ending rut.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you.

After over a decade of working with clients that I call “Renaissance Entrepreneurs,” I’ve come to realize that our productivity just isn’t as consistent as the specialized world tells us it should be.

This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with us or that we’re not capable of sustained productivity; it just means we have to take notice of our lows and take steps to break free of the funk.