I was told when I get older, all my fears would shrink, but now I'm insecure, and I care what people think...-Blurry Face, Stressed Out
Iyanla Vanzant defines INTEGRITY as: The willingness to be diligent in giving your best, first to yourself, then everyone else. She also goes on to explain the relationship between "integrity" and "alignment" by stating in her "House of Healing," that integrity is best exhibited when what you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you are saying and what you are doing, are all in alignment. This is what determines the trajectory of your life. Integrity is the key ingredient in living a fulfilled life, where you are proud of your choices and circumstances. If I had this compass earlier on in life, I can think of several mistakes I would not have made personally, professionally and spiritually. I began to walk in integrity thanks to the guidance of one of my mentors, around the age of 27. One July afternoon, when I expressed to her how frustrated I was with the choices I was making with men, my career, and my spirituality, she cautioned me that what I "said" I wanted was not congruent with the choices I was making. She challenged me to write lists of everything I wanted in a man, in a career, and in a spiritual life (i.e. place of worship, corporate worship experience, etc.) As you can imagine, as a multi-potentialite, what I said I wanted out of a career and spirituality look a lot different today. However, I still have the notebook page where I drafted every single quality and characteristic that I had to have in a man. When I started dating my husband, a long-time friend of 9 years, prior to dating, he met all 25 qualities and characteristics on that sheet. Finding authentic love in him, started me on a path of integrity in other areas of my life.
So this leads me to the thought: how do I raise a multi-potentialite (which I'm almost positive my daughter is), or any child, for that matter, to let integrity guide their life in keeping what they believe in alignment with their words and actions. I believe there are 3 guiding principals that we can use to raise up a generation of multipods, who will live with integrity and stand for what is right. They stem from the old teaching adage, "I do, WE do, YOU do!" This is how I learn, this always worked for me in the classroom, and parenting is still new to me, so all I can do is learn, share and go with what I know in the process of parenting, intentionally.
