Thursday, January 16, 2020

2020 Vision

I know it's so cliche at this point and you've probably seen a hundred hash tags, posts, etc. about 2020 vision but let's face it, most things that are considered "played out" are overdone because they are good!  So I'm not too cool to use a cliche phrase to get my point across when it's most applicable.  In this case, "2020 Vision" is a double entendre!  It refers to me being determined to see my life and the lives that surround me, more clearly than I ever have in the past.  But it also consists of my actual vision: my manifesto, my mantra, and my pathway to living my life most abundantly in 2020.  I am officially 15 days into this year, and already I see how things are lining up to bring about the changes that I wish to see.  I am firm believer in writing your vision and making it plain, so that you have a guiding principle to govern the decisions you are making and the steps you are taking, either towards or away from your goals.  A clear vision keeps us accountable and holds us to a standard even when no one else is watching.  It's a covenant that we make with ourselves, to bring about the abundance we seek.  If this is sounding too abstract or hokey, I want to provide you with some practical ways to draft a 2020 Vision.  We are still in January, and it's not too late to start!  This is one way to begin:

Step 1: Get an empty Journal, Notebook, or Composition Book with a nice firm cover and a pen that writes nicely, dedicated solely to this.

Step 2: Place that book and pen in a comfortable place that you KNOW you will see everyday (Bedroom, Bathroom, Kitchen, etc.)  Light some candles, grab some tea, play soft music, get relaxed and comfortable, ready to open your mind and heart to manifesting your deepest desires.

Step 3:  On the first page, list the date at the top and 3 things that you want to happen in your life this year. Below the list, write 2 steps you are willing to take for each, to ensure that all 3 things happen for you.

Step 4:  Date the top of the page and write at least 3 things you are grateful for, daily. Try not to repeat what you said the day before.

Step 5: Once a week, list at least 3 steps that you have taken (no matter how small or big) towards your 3 goals.


Today is your day!  GET STARTED NOW! Set your intentions!  
Write your vision!  Become the change you wish to see!

Thursday, December 28, 2017

2018 New Year's Affirmations

I stopped creating New Year’s Resolutions about a decade ago when I didn’t feel like they were getting me anywhere.  We’ve all heard the stats on how long it takes people to fall off and break them.  But on a regular basis, I carve time out to goal set, vision and make my desires known (either on paper or through the spoken word).  No matter what you call it, I still see a great deal of value in doing that, particularly at the start of a new year.  So this year, I’ve decided to create a list of 7 New Year’s Affirmations, instead of resolutions.  I hope they will motivate you to create a few, too!  In no particular order of importance:

1.       I am neither too fat, nor too skinny, nor too black, nor to “other”, nor too young, nor too old, nor too “anything” to do what the Creator is calling me to! 

As someone who has struggled with insecurities about weight, complexion, hair, status, and so much more, I am often tempted to make plans contingent upon becoming a “better” me in some way, shape, or form.  No more waiting.  Now is my time, in the package I am in!

2.       I don’t control all of the circumstances but I’m in control of all my choices!
The Creator has endowed me with the power of choice.  It doesn’t matter what’s going on around me; every moment offers a choice for how to manage life’s challenges and successes.

3.       I live in exceeding abundance of divine magnitude.
There is no limit to what I can accomplish. Point blank, period. Lack of any kind (time, energy, resources) cannot dictate whether or not I accomplish my goals, this year. I have it all!

4.       Forgiveness flows through me and to me.
This year, I have learned how to forgive in a way that I never forgave before.  I learned to feel empathy in a way that I never have before.  I learned these lessons through the generosity of spirit and love that others displayed towards me.  I have to pay it forward from here on out.

5.       Feminine energy is a superpower!
I vow to use my power for good and not for the downfall of mankind.  Where invited to, I will teach the women I encounter to harness their power and do the same.  I am a powerful being!

6.       I’ve got something that the world is waiting on.
How long am I going to deprive them?  The thing that I am waiting to do, is going to have a ripple effect on the entire universe.  What am I waiting on?  Just do it, already!

I truly believe love has the power to heal any broken thing.  It’s the anecdote to all spiritual and emotional pain.  Let love be the answer to life’s toughest questions. Love is wealth.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Dear Younger Me...

A while back, a friend asked me to create this blog entry about what I would tell to the younger version of myself.  I thought long and hard and had a really hard time coming up with just the right words, worth reading.  I guess that was the first mistake I made…overthinking it.  I tend to spend far too much time worrying about how people will “take things” before I just express what I’m truly thinking or feeling.  Maybe that’s why my blog entries are so few and far between.  I talk myself out of 70% of them.  Truth is, the spirit of God speaks to the hearts of man, and each person receives what I share in a way that speaks specifically to them, so my fear is unfounded, as fear often is.  But I digressed – back to me! 

I spent a lot of time after law school fantasizing about what it would be like to go back to undergrad with the knowledge of the world that I have at the present.  I wondered which guys I would’ve avoided, and which ones I would’ve entertained.  I wondered what I would’ve “majored” and “minored” in, both literally and metaphorically.  I wondered what I would’ve done after college, instead, and how that would’ve shaped who I have become, versus the path that I actually took.  This way of thinking often leads to regrets and unrealistically fantasies of how much better my life would’ve been if I made better choices – mostly better financial decisions!  But while moping down “what if” lane, I’m often snapped back into the reality that is present, and I think about how truly blessed I am in every way imaginable. 

I think about how I am heavy-laden with graduate school debt, and yet there isn’t a single day that I go without my basic needs met, while still acquiring a lot of my luxurious “wants.”  I think about how amazing my work culture is, and how I would not know how to appreciate it the way I do, without all of my less than favorable work environments in the past.   I think about how my daughter is my life-line and makes me a better person every single day, as I revel in the joy of being her mom.  What really gets my praise party started is when I think about the absolutely, amazing man and father that is my husband.  It is like God handcrafted him just for me, and there is no way I would be able to actually appreciate that without all of the mismatched relationships of my past.  Talk about a paradigm shift!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Defining INTEGRITY for the Next Generation of Multi-potentialites

I was told when I get older, all my fears would shrink, but now I'm insecure, and I care what people think...-Blurry Face, Stressed Out

Iyanla Vanzant defines INTEGRITY as: The willingness to be diligent in giving your best, first to yourself, then everyone else.  She also goes on to explain the relationship between "integrity" and "alignment" by stating in her "House of Healing," that integrity is best exhibited when what you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you are saying and what you are doing, are all in alignment.  This is what determines the trajectory of your life.  Integrity is the key ingredient in living a fulfilled life, where you are proud of your choices and circumstances. If I had this compass earlier on in life, I can think of several mistakes I would not have made personally, professionally and spiritually.  I began to walk in integrity thanks to the guidance of one of my mentors, around the age of 27.  One July afternoon, when I expressed to her how frustrated I was with the choices I was making with men, my career, and my spirituality, she cautioned me that what I "said" I wanted was not congruent with the choices I was making.  She challenged me to write lists of everything I wanted in a man, in a career, and in a spiritual life (i.e. place of worship, corporate worship experience, etc.)  As you can imagine, as a multi-potentialite, what I said I wanted out of a career and spirituality look a lot different today.  However, I still have the notebook page where I drafted every single quality and characteristic that I had to have in a man.  When I started dating my husband, a long-time friend of 9 years, prior to dating, he met all 25 qualities and characteristics on that sheet.  Finding authentic love in him, started me on a path of integrity in other areas of my life.

So this leads me to the thought: how do I raise a multi-potentialite (which I'm almost positive my daughter is), or any child, for that matter, to let integrity guide their life in keeping what they believe in alignment with their words and actions.  I believe there are 3 guiding principals that we can use to raise up a generation of multipods, who will live with integrity and stand for what is right.  They stem from the old teaching adage, "I do, WE do, YOU do!"  This is how I learn, this always worked for me in the classroom, and parenting is still new to me, so all I can do is learn, share and go with what I know in the process of parenting, intentionally.

Monday, September 26, 2016


Clifton Harcum

From Baltimore, MD
Presently residing in Princess Anne, MD
Fight Songs are How I Got Over - The Roots; My Way - Frank Sinatra
Web/Social Media

Clifton Harcum is a natural-born leader and a renowned author/public speaker who has dedicated his life to the achievement and advocacy of the downtrodden through coaching and community development.  He is determined to leave a legacy for his son and the next generation of men to follow.

STB: I'm really excited to feature you as the first male on my blog.  Let's begin where this journey all started for you.  What did you major in? 
CH: I received my BA in Sociology and my MSM in Nonprofit & Association Management. 
STB:  I majored in Sociology & Anthropology, as well.  It seems to be a common go-to for those of us interested in finding our place in the world, as young multi-potentialites.

STB: Are you currently working in that field? 
CH: Sort of. I lead and manage the Office of University Engagement and Lifelong Learning at University of Maryland Eastern Shore (UMES) which provides service and personal development opportunities for college students at the University. I collect and analyze data, write grants and I am currently conducting research in the areas of male college student retention and persistence strategies. I am not sure if I would call what I do as working in my field. I am a social scientist to a degree, but what I do is really self-propelled out of curiosity. I am curious about the impact of holistic development on individuals and how it affects their lives.
STB: Sounds to me like you are putting those stats courses to work...(smile).

Note: Since posting, Clifton Harcum has been appointed to the Princess Anne Planning & Zoning Commission!  Congratulations!

Sunday, September 4, 2016

An Open Letter to my Brothers...

Dear (Good) Brothers,

It has been such an eventful time in American history that I have neglected to address you through this forum for a while.  I have used other forms of social media to document my distress with police brutality, shootings of police, abused and murdered sisters at the hands of black men, and good brothers who have the strength to stand up for what they believe, in the face of great ridicule and potential financial harm.  But I thought it was time to take a step back and correspond with my good brothers, for a moment.  My prayer is that these words do not fall on deaf ears, but rather they will inspire you to DO SOMETHING!

Malcolm X once stated in a Los Angeles Speech (1962):

The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.
As a black woman in America over half a century later, these words still resonate in my spirit, because not much has changed. One could argue, that while conditions have improved for blacks in America since the 60's, black women are still the most underrepresented group in business ownership and executive level positions, we still receive the lowest wages out of any other group, despite the fact that we have the highest percentage of graduate degrees out of any other cultural group.  Black women are still being debased and disrespected with NO backlash, through every form of media.  Black women are still being brutally and sexually assaulted without recourse, by our "brothers."  Black women are still giving birth to the next generation completely unsupported by some of our "brothers."  Black women are still changing everything natural about ourselves to fit into a standard of beauty embraced by our "brothers," in the pursuit of success.  Malcolm X goes on to ask:

Friday, April 22, 2016

How to Get Out of a Multipod Funk by Paul Strobl

The roller coaster of life’s successes and disappointments can have much higher peaks and deeper valleys for multipotentialites than for non-multipods.
When things are really firing, we’re on a high of creativity and productivity that lights us from within, helping us to push the boundaries of innovation. It’s an incredibly powerful feeling that we don’t want to end. On the other hand, when we’re down in a funk, it can feel as though we’re stuck in a never-ending rut.
If this sounds like you, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you.
After over a decade of working with clients that I call “Renaissance Entrepreneurs,” I’ve come to realize that our productivity just isn’t as consistent as the specialized world tells us it should be.
This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with us or that we’re not capable of sustained productivity; it just means we have to take notice of our lows and take steps to break free of the funk.

Sunday, December 13, 2015



From New York, NY

Presently residing in District Heights, Maryland

Fight Song is Fight, huh?

Social Media: Instagram @tearsbelle

Tirza L. Buelto is a lover of life and the universe with a life-long allegiance to her identity as a New Yorker. She can never pinpoint exactly what she does, when asked, but can always relay that she is doing what she likes.  She enjoys the simpler things in life, coupled with warm and cozy environments in which to enjoy them.

STB: What did you major in?  Are you currently working in that field? 
TLB: I majored in Speech Language Pathology and Audiology with a minor in Africana Studies. I am not working in either field.
STB: Interesting! That sounds about right for a multi-potentialite such as yourself.

STB: What community service activities have you been involved with over the years?  
TLB: Mainly working with students and low-income/disadvantaged populations. A lot of work with the homeless and some work with human trafficking.

STB: Human trafficking is a huge issues today that we don't discuss enough! I commend you for that work. What else do you like to do in your free time (if you have any)?  
TLB: I'm such a nerd. Right now i'm working on putting together a draft business plan, I work part-time as a Clinical Specialist and really, I just do a lot of artsy stuff.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

What Does a “Real” Multipotentialite Look Like?

I’m going to present two competing narratives about multipotentialites and reality. And then we’re going to figure out why they’re both wrong.

Narrative One: The “Real World” Won’t Let Us Be Ourselves. We’re Doomed! We Have To Get a Job Instead.

One of my favourite things about the multipotentialite community is seeing the fascinating projects everyone is working on: writing books, building eco-homes, internet marketing, knitting, songwritingentrepreneurshipgiving talks… It’s a constant stream of creativity and inspiration.
But many of these projects are risky. They don’t have guaranteed income. Maybe they have a high chance of failure. Or perhaps we can’t make money from them at all, and they’re just for fun or for learning new skills.
This is where Narrative One comes in. We’ve heard it a million times in a million different ways: “This is not realistic. Give up.”
Perhaps it would be nice to spend our time working on these interesting things, but it just isn’t possible. It’s time to resign ourselves to a life spent in the office, and to consign all these dreams to the bin. The real world isn’t multipotentialite friendly. Get a job.

Narrative Two: Getting a Job Means Selling My Soul. We’re Doomed! We Have to Not Get a Job.

On the other hand, it can sometimes feel like there’s an unspoken peer pressure for a “real” multipotentialite to avoid reality as much as possible.
If I imagine how I might feel if I quit self-employment, my brain objects quite strongly:
  • Getting a job means I’ve failed.
  • It means I’m not a “real” multipotentialite.
  • I’d have no time to pursue my other interests.
  • If I get a job, then I’m letting The Man win, and I’m participating in an awful inhumane system of employment, which basically makes me evil. (This one may be going a bit far.)
I don’t think these objections are based on anything I’ve heard anyone actually say.
If there’s a Multipotentialite Police Force out there checking for confirmed freelance status when anybody calls themselves a multipotentialite, I’ve never met them.*
* Ironically, this sounds like quite a fun job, so if the Multipotentialite Police are reading this, feel free to get in touch!
I suspect that this picture of a “real” multipotentialite has come from my brain seeing the most visible multipotentialites, noticing that they tend to be self-employed, mobile, alternative, and creative, and then crystallising a pattern around the idea that all multipotentialites must be this way to qualify.
And so I end up subconsciously believing that being self-employed – or doing certain kinds of work – is 100% necessary to being part of the club.
And I think that’s wrong. There’s no one way to be a multipotentialite. (In some ways, that’s kind of the whole point!)

Thank you for being a friend: A Tribute to my Sisters!

I tend to surround myself with 2 types of women.  Women who are like me, and women like whom I aspire to be.  Most women that are a part of my inner circle fall into one of these two categories.  This doesn't necessarily mean women who "look" like me, "act" like me, or even share most of my values. You would be surprised to learn the simple, seemingly attenuated characteristics I share in common with some of my closest friends.  What it does mean, is that I have an arsenal of diverse, intellectual, ingenious, gorgeous, multi-potentialite sisters in my corner to support my dreams, exchange ideas, and enhance my life in countless ways.  This is not something I take for granted.  Whenever I meet a woman who says she has no real girlfriends, my heart breaks for her.  What would my life be without all of the strong women who have helped to shape it.  I can pick up my iPhone and receive solid advice regarding love, parenthood, finance, fashion, spirituality, fitness and mental health from women who are subject-matter experts in all the aforementioned fields, and whom I also consider to be my dear friends.  My girlfriends have literally saved my life on countless occasions.  Special recognition goes to my line sister who literally saved my life once or twice! :-)